pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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