Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
