We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
love makes seman taste better
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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