Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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