Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
