I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
