overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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