I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
