Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize