We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm both gender and math confused
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
