She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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