similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
