I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
