I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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