I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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