But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
