whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
