got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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