Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
