OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
