if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize