You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
