i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
