at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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