but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So squirting runs in the family.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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