This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my shit smells like andre
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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