I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
