he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
