Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
