Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
