I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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