She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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