he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
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well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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