dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize