So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!