is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.