Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"