I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
