Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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