Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize