You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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