and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize