explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
