...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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