I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
