I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea