I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles