whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
not ubering you a puppy
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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