I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
