i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
