Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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