We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
