I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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