my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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